Fierce Mercy
What fierce mercy is this
that pummels/cuddles me
with a violence so gentle
it drops me to my knees, amazed?
You were devil to me
before ever You were God.
Chasing me to chasten me,
You seemed nothing but punisher
(how could I have known then
that You were the Punished
punished for me?)
Caught, I hated You, berated You,
Screaming, "My wants – You don't care!
My plans – You're not fair!"
I wrestled with You.
You left me with a Jacob-limp.
I demanded answers.
You responded with Job-questions.
I pleaded for my dreams to live.
You took them
as You took David's Bathsheba-born son.
And then, finally, the realization
of the who, what, how and why of You
splashed across the sky of my soul.
Suffering was the dynamite
You used to hollow out
a space in me, to make room
for the Holy Spirit.
You were blast-blessing me,
and, suddenly, I was fast-confessing,
me, the woman who never admitted
she was wrong, now thronged
by a myriad of sins, angry little squealers
who did not like being exposed.
Elijah-weary, I would have given up.
But Your Word came as a raven
bearing sustenance.
"I have loved you
with an everlasting love."
That pain should be
the vehicle of that love
will always astound me.
Because of Your fierce mercy,
I receive Your ferocious grace.
For You, Lord Jesus, are paradox,
the mighty Lion of Judah,
and the meek Lamb of God.
What fierce mercy is this
that pummels/cuddles me
with a violence so gentle
it drops me to my knees, amazed?
You were devil to me
before ever You were God.
Chasing me to chasten me,
You seemed nothing but punisher
(how could I have known then
that You were the Punished
punished for me?)
Caught, I hated You, berated You,
Screaming, "My wants – You don't care!
My plans – You're not fair!"
I wrestled with You.
You left me with a Jacob-limp.
I demanded answers.
You responded with Job-questions.
I pleaded for my dreams to live.
You took them
as You took David's Bathsheba-born son.
And then, finally, the realization
of the who, what, how and why of You
splashed across the sky of my soul.
Suffering was the dynamite
You used to hollow out
a space in me, to make room
for the Holy Spirit.
You were blast-blessing me,
and, suddenly, I was fast-confessing,
me, the woman who never admitted
she was wrong, now thronged
by a myriad of sins, angry little squealers
who did not like being exposed.
Elijah-weary, I would have given up.
But Your Word came as a raven
bearing sustenance.
"I have loved you
with an everlasting love."
That pain should be
the vehicle of that love
will always astound me.
Because of Your fierce mercy,
I receive Your ferocious grace.
For You, Lord Jesus, are paradox,
the mighty Lion of Judah,
and the meek Lamb of God.