Choosing Points
I saw no hope in bringing you to light—
only ruin—
and voices all around urged
a perceived simplicity of solving,
and so I chose.
But I did not know
choosing against you would be to choose
against myself,
that that tearing in the womb
would so tear my heart,
nor that the day would be
always a turning point,
a time from which to measure,
to split my life in two, before and after.
I chose against you,
and for a long darkness from my choosing
I saw only ruin—
no hope for end to pain.
But other flesh was torn once
on rough wood
to heal my heart.
I found another turning point,
before and after, between dark and light,
and now I measure hope past the ruin.
I will never know who I would have been
if I had chosen you,
but I know who I am now—
child of mercy,
of Him who chose me against Himself.
I saw no hope in bringing you to light—
only ruin—
and voices all around urged
a perceived simplicity of solving,
and so I chose.
But I did not know
choosing against you would be to choose
against myself,
that that tearing in the womb
would so tear my heart,
nor that the day would be
always a turning point,
a time from which to measure,
to split my life in two, before and after.
I chose against you,
and for a long darkness from my choosing
I saw only ruin—
no hope for end to pain.
But other flesh was torn once
on rough wood
to heal my heart.
I found another turning point,
before and after, between dark and light,
and now I measure hope past the ruin.
I will never know who I would have been
if I had chosen you,
but I know who I am now—
child of mercy,
of Him who chose me against Himself.